He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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