He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize