He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
