Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
