Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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