I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
