I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
