Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Randomize