I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
