I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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