coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think my moral compass just broke
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
