if i can run in heels then i can drive
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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