So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
