So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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