Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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