I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
