I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
