the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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