I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
