What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
