she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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