What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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