Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize