I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
