I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize