Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize