Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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