Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
