And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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