oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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