let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
