allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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