You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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