Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
