Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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