The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
