I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
