It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just puked most of my soul out..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
