we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
