If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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