i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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