The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Enjoy the penises
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
