you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
