You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
