I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
