I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We named our party play list daddy issues
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
