his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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