in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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