He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
