Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
