Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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