fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
