sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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