Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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