i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
