So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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