Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize