i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
