were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
